Life Sucks And Then You Die
by Raina Wolfe - Lateraina
Summary: Sam's life after high school? Complicated. Very complicated. Her ex husband left her for a blonde bimbo. Her teenage daughter is pregnant and Danny comes back only to mess things up even more.
1. Send Me A Sign

Hello! Interesting title huh? Yeah, I thought that was kind of funny actually. But then again, this story is total fun. Because it's constant, back and forth humor.

**Summary: **Sam never told her feelings for Danny and their lives continued on, pretty much without each other. Sam was married and raised two girls. And they've lived fairly for ten years. Until…her husband decides to cheat on her with a blonde bimbo who insists on being friends as Sam and Rich separate, the last thing Sam wants, let alone needs. And her eldest daughter Lillith? Only fourteen and suddenly with child. Things couldn't get any more complicated. Wrong!

Okay, for those of you wondering if I'm obsessive over anything else now, yes, I did get this idea from watching another tv show. For those of you who get which one it is or you might probably by the end of this chapter, it is totally different from that show besides the ex—husband and new wife thing and teenage pregnancy ordeal. Those are the only similarities really.

Other than that, all I can say is enjoy, because I'm having a lot of fun working on this.

Disclaimer: Danny Phantom is owned by Butch Hartman and Nickelodeon Studios.

lIfe sUcks AnD thEn yOu dIe

chAptEr oNe

_send me a sign_

**R**aven Manson swung her legs back and forth underneath the table, humming a tune that she'd completely made up on her own and sipping milk through a straw. She had long, silky black hair, a curvy, pale face and indigo colored eyes.

They were compared so much because of their physical similarities that Sam was used to it and had the answer for every statement. And then of course, to describe their emotional and behavioral similarities, she was still working on an answer.

Sam rested her chin on her hands, her elbows propped up on the counter. Her lilac eyes were gazing out the window, staring around at the steadily rising sun. It was about seven o'clock in the morning.

She'd also gotten used to waking up in the mornings. (Not that she was particularly a morning person yet.) She'd been at it for fourteen years and would still rather stay in bed sometimes as she knew her daughters would prefer as well.

Ah, heredity.

"Mommy?" Raven asked. "Do I have to go to school today?"

"And why not?" Sam replied with a grin.

"Because I don't want to," she grumbled. "The boys are stupid."

She laughed. "Yes Raven, you have to go to school."

The five year old made a face, twirling her fork around on her toast and then deciding to stab it several times in defiance. "Stupid boys…"

"Mom, do I have to go to school today?"

Sam looked up, shaking her head at the repeated question but hearing it from a different voice, and saw her fourteen year old daughter, Lillith, enter the room.

Lillith had a shade lighter hair so that it was almost brown instead of black, but paler eyes closer to herself. She had a skinny frame, but this morning, her face was strained and paler than normal, her walk sluggish.

"What's wrong Lil?" Sam asked, concerned.

"I don't feel well," she replied. "My stomach feels horrible."

She pressed her hand against her forehead. "You don't feel warm."

"It's not my head mom," she grumbled. "It's my stomach." She pressed her arms over her stomach and put her head against the table.

Sam frowned, but started when Raven suddenly pointed and said, "Look mom, look!" at the top of her little lungs.

"Raven, inside voice," Lillith requested, looking up to see what the fuss was about.

She blinked several times and turned towards where she pointed and then rushed over to the television, turning it up louder.

_"—the world famous, Climax set off for space today, destination Mars. The mission of the shuttle crew is summed up to find out what living conditions are for humans for possible human living space? (Laugh) The shuttle launched earlier last night and should return in three months. We wish all fifteen of the astronauts inside the Climax a safe and fun trip. In other news--"_

"Mommy, is the superhero on that rocket?" Raven asked, cocking her head to the side.

Sam smiled. "I think he is," she said. How long it had been since she'd heard from the "superhero" she knew so well…

"He can blast off into space and land on the moooon…" she said, laughing.

Lillith rolled her eyes. "They're going to Mars, not the moon."

"Whatever," Raven retorted.

There was a knock on the door and Sam just barely had to look out the window before she knew who it was. She shook her head and crossed back over to the counter. "No one's here!" she called out absentmindedly.

"Oh, really?" replied a voice. "I'll just come back later then."

The shadowed figure disappeared from the window shade and Sam smacked her forehead.

"Did she just seriously fall for that?" Lillith asked, her face neutral. She would have laughed had it not been for the pain that went through her stomach.

"Yeah…But that's good news for us. I swear if--"

The door to the kitchen opened and two people walked in, one of which was her ex-husband. She sighed heavily as she saw the same person she'd just tricked into leaving her alone alongside with him like a potty trained puppy.

"And someone said that they weren't there and I thought--" she was babbling.

Sam rolled her eyes and turned to her black haired, brown eyed, middle aged ex-husband. "Rich, I swear you were here less when we were married."

"Sam, why did you tell Leann that you weren't home?" Rich asked, raising an eyebrow. The woman hovering over his shoulder stopped talking, waiting for her answer and blinking her bright green eyes several times.

"I would have thought that was obvious…" she retorted.

"Sam, dear," Leann said, swinging her blonde hair back behind her shoulders almost professionally.

"Don't ever call me dear again unless you--" Sam began, making a face.

"Sam…" Rich said.

"Oh, don't Sam me," she grumbled. "Now, before I interrupted, what were you saying that was so very important?" She layered on the sarcasm.

"I was wondering if I could borrow that recipe for your vegetarian lasagna," she said excitedly. "I want to try something."

"And what do you want to try?" Sam asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I was thinking about adding some hamburger--"

"Wait, wait, wait," Lillith interrupted. "You want to put hamburger, in--"

"—vegetarian lasagna!' Sam finished incredulously. "That would just totally diploid the point of _vegetarian _lasagna, wouldn't it?"

Leann blinked several times. "But--"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I should use smaller words, shouldn't I?" she snapped apologetically.

"Sam, can she borrow the recipe please?" Rich asked.

Sam made a face, muttering to himself to mock him. "No."

The door opened again and a teenage boy walked into the room, shouting excitedly. "Lil, guess what?"

"Chris, inside voice!" Raven yelled, putting her hands over her ears.

"Sorry," Chris whispered, walking past the two adults and over to Lillith. "Lil, guess what?"

"What?" she grumbled into the table.

"Lillith, what's wrong?" Rich asked, concerned.

"I feel like I'm going to--"

"Maybe we shouldn't talk about this during breakfast," Leann said, cringing.

"I don't care," Raven, Lillith, and Sam said together.

"Okay…then," she said, looking around nervously. "Can I please stay home today?"

"Alright," Sam replied sincerely, nodding. "You can stay home. Do you want something to eat?"

"No," she said.

Chris helped her to her feet, his tan face sympathetic. "I'll come with you."

Rich quickly intervened. "I think it would be best if she were to sleep alone without you there," he said.

"Don't even go there Rich," Sam muttered, giving him a look and glancing over at Leann. "We know how well you take your own advice." He laughed uneasily and she turned to her eldest daughter. "Lil, don't mess around with me, I'm trusting you on this. And Chris, you're going to school, you can see her after. Don't make me come up there and get you."

"Got it Miss M," he replied firmly as if talking to a drill sergeant. They walked together out of the room.

"So what about that recipe?" Leann asked, clapping her hands together.

"The answer is still no. This family is totally ultro—recyclo vegetarian, except for Raven, but she's a lacto vegetarian," she replied. "So, your answer is still…no…"

"Use the pan mommy!" Raven said with a giggle.

"What's the "pan?" Leann asked, confused.

Rich laughed again, trying to steer the woman out. "We need to leave now. Raven, do good on your spelling test."

"Reading," she corrected.

"Sorry, reading," he said, rolling his eyes.

By this time, Sam had taken her own daughter's advice and was walking around towards the oven, grabbing a pan handle tightly in her grasp.

"What's "the pan?" Leann repeated.

"I can show you if you like," she replied, picking the heavy metal piece up and looking at her reflection in the metal. She twirled it around and smiled wickedly.

"Come on, Leann, we don't need to see this," Rich said hurriedly, opening up the door. "Sam, are you picking up Raven after school?"

"Yes," she answered shortly.

"Bye!" Leann shouted.

She walked over and closed the door on them both, still holding the pan in her hand and stood by the door, just behind the corner so that she wouldn't be seen by anyone coming in but she could see whoever was coming in.

"I give her twenty seconds," she said. Raven laughed, watching her.

Sam looked at her watch, counting down. "Nine, eight, seven, six…" She pressed a finger to her lips as she heard a car door slam. "Four, three, two…one!"

The doorbell rang and a shadow cast over the window. She slid her hand on the doorknob and quickly pulled back when it opened and gave a Xena cry to make her daughter laugh and held up the pan—

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" said a different voice than they'd both been expecting.

Sam gasped and dropped the pan to the floor loudly, her lilac eyes widening in shock as she saw the familiar, yet unfamiliar face.

He had large, light blue eyes that never darkened and messy black hair strung in his face. He was very tall and built muscular, but skinny.

"Is this how you always welcome your old friends?" he asked, amused as he lowered his hands that had been protecting him from her attack.

"Danny!" she asked, amazed.

Danny grinned. "Greetings earthling."

* * *

Okidokies. For future warning; all characters will be fully descripted and explained in later chapters. It'll probably go for details until chapter five. All history and other things will be the same routine. Right now, for the first chapter, I was just introducing all of the main characters. For other characters, yes of course, Jazz and Tucker star in this story. Dash is not in this story. Paulina is of course to make things a bit interesting. And Sam does not know her daughter is pregnant yet. (I can tell you now it's within the next two chapters sometime)

So, for the first chapter, what did you think? I am going to include some sneak peeks in this one, but mostly because I love the story so much. It's really funny throughout the whole thing. So far, my favorite chapters are five, six, seven, eight, and ten.

Here's your sneak peek! Please R&R!

_Chapter Two: To The Moon And Back_

_"No way…does Sam Manson actually have milk in her fridge?" he asked, staring into the bottom half._

_"How did I know that as soon as I left the room, you would be in the food?" she countered, grinning._

_"Because they didn't have this kind of food where I came back from," he replied. "I am starving."_

_"Mom, do you have any Tylenol or anything?" Lillith asked, walking into the room. Danny looked over at her, smiling and she gasped, smiling back flirtatiously. "Ooh, mom, who's the hottie?'_

Lateraina Wolf


	2. To The Moon And Back

Hello! Oh, yay! I got a lot more reviews than I expected! Thanks to my lovely reviewers!

XxFadedxMemoriesxX, Raven of the Night676, Soccerdiva, theDarkUnnamed13411, Hakkyou Kuusou, ChthonianRaven, Slayer of Souls, Crazy Billie Joe Loving Freak, SilverstarsEbonyskies, Fanficaholic, Galateagirl, Unlikely-to-bear-it, giggleaid, Fey Phantom, Spiffy McFloogan, katiesparks, SummersSixEcho, deranged black kitten of doom, Phantom101, Nakira Ayame Outsuno, the sleep warrior, Chibi Millenia Phantom, Queen S of Randomness 016

Also, some of you got it, but yes, this is sort of based of the WB show Reba. Any fans? I sure am.

liFe sUCks anD TheN yoU diE

chAptEr twO

_to the moon and back_

**S**am jumped into his arms, surprising both of them, but his quick reflexes soon showed up and he caught her, holding her tightly. She pulled back, gasping. "Danny, oh my gosh…"

"Hey, how are you?" he asked.

"I'm great," she replied. "You…look great."

He grinned, scratching at his nose. "You do too. I missed you."

She hugged him again. "God, I missed you too…"

"Did I come at a bad time?" he asked.

"No, no, come on in, really," she insisted, tugging on his arm and pulling him inside. "Welcome to the nut house."

He laughed, a sound she'd missed. He hadn't changed much at all it seemed, even though it'd been at least five years since she'd seen him last. They'd kept in contact through email, but she hadn't physically seen him in what felt like forever.

She watched him look around the blue and silver themed kitchen and smiled. "What do you think?"

"It's awesome," he told her. He nudged her playfully with his hand. "What have you been up to lately, Sammiekins?"

She smacked him back. "You know better than to call me that. What have you been up to Mr. Astronaut? I thought you'd be on the Climax."

"Nope, not this time," he said, something flickering in his blue eyes. Even now after he'd been gone so long, she knew there was something he was hiding, but didn't want to talk about right now.

She gave him a smile, deciding whatever it was would be easier if she just left it alone. Besides, she wasn't in the mood to threaten his visit here.

"You've been living nice I see," he told her.

"For the most part," she replied.

"How's the ex?" he asked, smiling.

"Same old, same old," she said, rolling her eyes. Behind Danny, she could see Raven slowly crawl towards him, looking like she was trying to sneak up on him and nodded.

"I know," he mouthed, seeing her and putting a finger to his ear and then to his mouth for "quiet." "Besides, there aren't many--" He whirled around suddenly, laughing maniacally and seizing the small child in his hands, lifting her up above his head. She screamed and then burst into giggles.

"This must be Raven," he said, holding her beside him. "What a lovely little princess."

"I'm not a princess," she argued. "Princesses wear pink."

Danny gave Sam a look. "Why does that sound familiar? Hmm, I wonder who taught her that…"  
"Hey, I was hoping I taught her well," she said.

"Mommy?" she asked, staring at Danny and poking at him curiously. He playfully tried to bite her fingers and she laughed. "Who's this?"

"Well, Raven, remember the superhero I told you about?" she asked, smiling. He looked at her with a curious look and then smiled, blushing furiously. "This is him."

"The superhero that's going to the moon?" she asked.

"I've been to the moon," he said, setting her down and then bending at her level. "Twice in fact. And…" He searched around his red coat pocket and finally found what he'd been looking for and handed it to her. "Got you something."

"What is it?" She lifted a solid, grayish-black rock from him.

"It's a moon rock, literally," he told her. "The aliens there told me I could have it."

Sam snorted. "Aliens?"

He stood back up. "What? You can believe in ghosts, but not aliens?"

"Raven, go get your bag and stuff for school," she said, shaking her head.

"Ugh," she grumbled, making a face and stalking very slowly out of the room.

"Well, you can definitely tell she's yours," he told her. "She's just like you. Even looks like you."

"I'll be right back. She'll stall if she think she's going to get away with it," she said. "Sit down, make yourself comfortable."

"Okidokie Sammiekins," he teased. She gave him a look and then walked out of the room, rolling her eyes. He waited until she was out and then snuck over to the fridge, opening it up and looking inside curiously.

He could hear Sam's voice coaxing Raven inside the hallway just a few rooms away and shook his head, grinning. He almost gasped after a moment as he heard footsteps back into the room.

"No way…does Sam Manson actually have milk in her fridge?" he asked, staring into the bottom half.

"How did I know that as soon as I left the room, you would be in the food?" she countered, grinning.

"Because they didn't have this kind of food where I came back from," he replied. "I am starving."

"Mom, do you have any Tylenol or anything?" Lillith asked, walking into the room. Danny looked over at her, smiling and she gasped, smiling back flirtatiously. "Ooh, mom, who's the hottie?"

Sam would have laughed, had it been totally awkward moment at the heavy color that suddenly rose to his cheeks. Instead, she cleared her throat. "Lil, this is Danny. My friend, remember?"

"Oh…" she said. "You never said how cute he was."

"Hi," he said after a moment, blushing furiously.

"I thought you didn't feel well," Sam said.

"I do," she said. "I mean, I don't. I feel sick still. But it's just my stomach."

"Where's Chris?" Sam asked.

"He's upstairs," she said.

"Where upstairs?" she returned.

"Standing just outside the hallway," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Chris is Lil's boyfriend," Sam explained to Danny, who had raised an eyebrow.

"I figured that one," he said.

"There's bacon in the freezer in the porch," she said after a moment. "Help yourself."

His eyes widened. "You're kidding."

"Nope," she said simply.

He walked over towards her and raised his hand, putting the back of it up against her forehead. "Hmm…you are kind of warm. Maybe you're sick too."

She shoved his hand away. "Ha ha." She found it nearly impossible to glare at him even now and found herself grinning soon after.

Danny laughed. "Well then. Anyone else want some bacon?"

"Not in this house," Sam said. "Rich was the only one who ate it."

"Ah, I see…" he replied, looking around.

"Out on the porch you idiot," she said again, pointing towards the door to the right. "Just don't leave a greasy mess like I know you will anyway."

"Have I ever made a mess?"

"Have I ever looked stupid to you?" she challenged.

He laughed and didn't answer, crossing over to the door. Just to mess with him, she grinned and cast a sideways glance at her daughter. "Hey, Dan, your fly's unzipped."

"What?" he exclaimed. In his distraction, there was loud thud and he walked right into the door hard. "Ow…"

Sam burst into laughter. "Yeah, you haven't changed much at all."

"You did that on purpose," he said, turning around and rubbing his forehead.

"Duh," she replied.

"No, it's not," Lillith said suddenly, looking over in his direction.

Danny looked down and gave her an odd look. Sam, however, stared at her daughter. "Lil, what to explain to me why you're looking?"

"Oh…" she said after a minute. She laughed nervously. "I'm going upstairs now."

"You're no help at all, you know that?" he asked.

"Oh, but you're so fun."

"Glad to know," he retorted.

"Go get your bacon," she said.  
"That didn't sound right," he called, opening the door this time and going onto the porch.

"Sicko," she muttered. She looked up. "Raven, come on! You're going to be late!" She sighed and walked back into the hallway just as the door opened again to the porch and Danny stepped inside the kitchen, carrying a package of bacon.

"I never thought I'd see this day," he said.

The door suddenly opened and a woman walked in, talking nonstop before she even had the door closed.

"Sam, I almost forgot to tell you something," Leann said, rushing inside. "What if I add cheese to it instead?" She looked around and saw Danny standing there. "Oh, hello!" she greeted.

He was almost about to reply when she suddenly gasped and screamed very loudly. "Sam! SAM! Stranger, stranger, stranger! There's a robber in your house!"

"What?" Danny exclaimed. "No, no, no, no, no…I'm not a robber."

"ROBBER! IN YOUR HOUSE!" she screamed.

"Wait, no!" he insisted.

She suddenly picked up the pan that Sam had dropped and stalked forwards. "I've got him!" She backed him into a wall and he threw his hands up in defense.

"Hey!" Sam suddenly said, running back into the room along with Lillith, Raven, and Chris. "Drop the pan and nobody gets hurt!"

"I've got him Sam," Leann said again.

"Sam…a little help here, please," Danny pleaded, cornered.

"Leann, drop the pan. He's my friend. He's not a robber," Sam said.

"I've got—what?" Leann stopped and looked back at her, her eyes wide. She looked back and forth and Sam stared at her. "Oh…"

"Put the pan down and back off please," she said through gritted teeth.

Danny stood up fully after a moment as Leann stepped away from him, setting the pan back down on the stove.

"I thought he was a robber, I'm sorry," she said.

"Leann, why would he steal bacon?" she asked.

Leann's eyes glanced down at the cold package in Danny's hands and he set it down on the counter, still holding his arms up in defense.

"Oh…" She blinked several times. "Have we met before?"

"No," he replied honestly.

"You look really fam--"

"Leann, what can I do for you?" Sam cut in sharply.

"Right," she said excitedly. "I was wondering if instead of meat, I could add cheese?"

"In vegetarian lasagna?" Danny wondered.

"Yeah—how did you know?" she asked.

If Sam weren't so stubborn to admit it, she would have agreed, giving a sideways glance over at him. His cheeks went a fair shade red.

"I…kind of guessed," he said. "I mean, if you can't have meat in lasagna, I guess you could have cheese and since Sam's--"

"Danny," Sam said.

"Shutting up," he said quickly.

"Leann, it's _vegetarian _lasagna," she said slowly as if talking to a kindergartener. "Meaning. No."

"I was just wondering," she said. "I'll see you later Sam." She walked back out of the house and Sam sighed loudly.

Danny, however, burst into laughter to the point where he was nearly on the floor with hysteretic. She raised an eyebrow and walked over to him, shoving him onto the ground.

"So…that was Leann?" he asked, looking up at her from the ground.

"Unfortunately," she grumbled. "What are you laughing about?"

"She's like…either really stupid or unobservant. You looked like you were about to kill someone," he told her.

She put her foot on his chest to mess with him and he surprised her by taking it and knocking her to the floor, right on top of him hard.

"Ow," he said after a moment. "That was not my intention."

"So…how did you know about my lasagna?" she asked.

"I didn't know you cooked," he replied.

"That wasn't my question," she retorted, putting her elbows into his chest.

"I'm aware of that—hey!" he said as she moved her arms down slightly lower.

"A little paranoid aren't we Dan?" she teased.

"Just a little, yeah," he replied.

"So…what does Mr. Fenton have up his sleeve that he doesn't want me to know?" she asked with a smile.

"I…I can read minds," he said after a minute.

"Oh."

Too bad things were only to get a bit more complicated…

* * *

Hee hee; You gotta love Danny. He's so cute and it's so funny. Next chapter? Things are getting a bit twisted…

Please R&R! Here's your sneak peek!

_Chapter Three: Unwanted…Expectancies_

_"Finally! I have a guy in the house who doesn't glare at me every time I walk in the door," Chris said._

_"Okay, okay, can't breathe," Danny choked out._

_"Sorry dude," he said, pulling away._

_Sam smirked. "He's a hugger."_

_Danny massaged his shoulders. "I noticed."_

Lateraina Wolf


	3. Unwanted Expectancies

Hello! Thanks to my reviewers!

Alexis, GhostAnn, Matsutsu, riotrockergurl, Fey Phantom, dannyfreak x2, Hakkyou Kuusou, Nakira Ayame Outsuno, AutumnBreeze25, N. sAnE sKiPpy, Snea, Catmedium, Ohka Breynekai, Jiece18, GoingGhost, Slayer of Souls, cottongirl619, sanseui-kitty, The Sleep Warrior, Spiffy McFloogan, Queen S of Randomness 016, Wolfee, Unlikely-to-bear-it, Kairi7, Divagurl277, XxFadedxMemoriesxX, Chthoninan Raven, Raven of the Night676, SilverstarsEbonyskies

Now, if you've read my profile, you'll see this is one of the stories that's on the "hopeful" list. If this story reaches 100 reviews by May, then it will be within the list of updates. (If everyone is confused, it does say on my profile.)

Other than that…no more notes. Just enjoy!

LiFE suCKs aND tHeN YoU diE

chAptEr thrEE

_unwanted…expectancies_

**An hour **and a half laterSam led Danny back inside the house, sighing. "That's not the worst she's done either."

"Oh, man," he said, laughing. "Raven _is _like you."

"She hasn't let out a four hundred pound gorilla yet," she said, jumping up onto the counter.

"What about…smuggle frogs out a biology lab…or sneak off to Circus Gothica when she should be in school….or change a cafeteria menu to a vegetarian meal…or…"

"You've proved your point Fenton," she said, giving him a look.

"What about Lillith?" he asked.

"She's a freshman in high school. Her boyfriend…you'll probably meet him later, his name is Chris. He's a sweetie, really he is. He's just…not all the way there."

"Ha, that's strange," he said.

"You should talk," she teased. "Hmm…what shall I fix us for lunch…"

"Oh…" Danny said at the same time.

"It's great to have you back Danny, it really is," she said, an odd sensation growing in her chest that she hadn't felt in a long time. She turned around, blushing furiously and looked into the fridge.

"It's good to be back. Gravity sucks though," he said with a grin.

She laughed. "How was your time on the Climax anyway?"

"Pretty awesome," he said. "I made a lot of friends and got a few chances of a lifetime and nearly lost my life at least four times."

"What?" she asked when he laughed.

"It was nothing compared to the little ghost experiences here," he said. "Besides…obviously I'm alive and well and back to annoy you for a while."

"Where are you staying?" she asked.

"Um…" he stammered. He laughed nervously. "I really haven't been anywhere. I got so wrapped up in seeing you that I forgot."

"Why don't you stay here for tonight and we can go look for somewhere tomorrow?" she suggested sincerely.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yeah…" she said after a minute. "Danny, you're always welcome here. But I must warn you…it gets a bit interesting…here…"

"It sounds like it," he said. He sighed, running his hands through his hair. "It's great to be home…"

"You look exhausted," she said, looking back at him and finally noticing.

"Plane trip was hell," he told her, yawning at the precise moment.

Despite his chipper behavior, Sam couldn't help but feel there was something…different. _What are you hiding Danny…?_

"There's just a lot of things…that went a bit haywire up there and I missed home," he said suddenly.

She stared. "You'd better watch that."

"Watch what?" he asked.

"Danny, I didn't say anything. You heard me thinking it," she told him.

"Oh…" he said, blinking. "Sorry."

"When did you get that power?" she wondered.

"Maybe…four months ago," he said. He laughed. "You should have seen me up there. I kept answering questions that no one actually asked aloud and…freaked out my roommate once."

"Sounds fun," she said sarcastically.

"Painful at first actually," he agreed. "I couldn't control everything and most the time if I tried, I ended up getting a huge migraine. But after a few weeks, I kind of separated things and it got better."

"What are you hungry for Dan?" she asked, realizing that he was still trying to avoid something.

"I want to tell you…" he said to her silent worry, not looking in her eyes. "Just…not now…"

"I'm sorry," she said, concerned. "You still didn't answer my question."

"BLT?" he asked.

"Sure," she said. "But I ain't touching that bacon."

"Fine by me," he said, hopping up onto the counter. "Hey, guess what?"

"What?" she replied, pulling tomatoes and lettuce and mayonnaise from the refrigerator.

"Telepathy isn't the only--"

"Mom?" Lillith's voice echoed in the hallway, coming towards them and Sam smacked Danny's leg to get him to shut up.

"In here," she said.

Lillith walked in and smiled at Danny. "I was just…getting hungry, that's all."

"Want a BLT?" Danny asked.

"Eww…gross," she said, sitting down at the table and making a face.

"Told you," Sam retaliated.

"Yeah, yeah…" he said, twirling a piece of uncooked bacon over her head. Lillith laughed at Sam's lack of awareness and he pulled it back just as she looked up.

"What?"

"Nothing," he replied innocently.

She poked him in the ribs hard and he curved away from her, grinning. Lillith watched them mess around with each other from the sidelines, one eyebrow raised.

"Hey, guys…" she said after a minute. "The bacon is on fire."

Danny gasped, waving away smoke and rushing to the stove, turning off the burner and shooing the fire away with his hands and a towel.

"Nice going," she replied. "Mister Anything Distracts me…"

He glared at her. "You were the distraction this time missy."

"I know…but I'm just saying, your attention span is about…" She held up her hands. "This big."

"You didn't notice either," he pointed out.

"You're so eating that," she said, nodding towards the "overcooked" bacon.

"Well, maybe I like it a little bit crispy," he told her.

"Okay, that really didn't sound right," Lillith announced.

"Nothing Danny says like that is ever intended to come out right," she said, poking him in the chest and glaring at him, making him laugh.

The door burst open suddenly and Lillith smiled. "Chris, what are you doing here?"

Chris himself was fifteen years old and had a tan face with brown eyes and blonde on brown hair. He was wearing a white tee shirt and black jeans and wore black gel bracelets on his right arm.

"That's a good question," Sam agreed, looking over at him.

"Lunch time on an open campus. I figured I'd make the effort to travel only four blocks to see how Lil was doing," he said. He sniffed the air. "I smell bacon."

"You smell burnt bacon," Sam replied, waving away smoke still. "Courtesy of Danny."

"Danny?" Chris asked.

He raised his hand. "That's me."

"Another dude? Awesome!"

"I didn't know people still said dude," Danny said.

"You have room to talk," she told him. "You and Tucker both."

"Who is Tucker?" Chris asked, wandering towards the bacon curiously.

"One of my other best friends…" _One that she still hadn't seen in forever…_

"He's good actually. I talked to him online while I was on the plane," Danny said.

Sam gave him a look, even though she liked hearing it. But the thing was, she hadn't officially asked.

Danny ran a hand through his hair, blushing faintly. "You can have some if you want."

"Really?" he asked. "I love crispy bacon."

"You two are going to be great for each other," Sam muttered. Lillith giggled as Chris suddenly threw his arms around Danny, who didn't move in shock, his blue eyes wide.

"Hi…" he said awkwardly.

"Finally! I have a guy in the house who doesn't glare at me every time I walk in the door," Chris said.

"Okay, okay, can't breathe," Danny choked out.

"Sorry dude," he said, pulling away.

Sam smirked. "He's a hugger."

Danny massaged his shoulders. "I noticed."

"How long you staying here?" he asked.

"He's spending the night," Sam said.

"Oh…so you're that kind of guy…" Chris said. He winked at her. "Real nice Ms. M."

"No…" Sam would have laughed at the look on Danny's face if she hadn't felt hers instantly heat up. "No, no, no, no…Danny is my best friend. Not like that."

"Oh…" Chris said, cringing.

"I didn't need that visual," Lillith grumbled.

"Let's go mess around until I have to go back," he said.

"That better not be a literal thing," Sam warned.

_You mean besides the fact that it already happened because…oh, god, what have I done? Now I think that…I might be…_

"Yes, ma'am," Chris said.

_Not that I don't love Chris…but after what happened…after what I did…we did…how am I supposed to tell him?_

They walked out of the room and Sam shook her head. "He's…not with it at all for the most part…"

Danny didn't reply and she looked over at him to see him staring after them both, his eyes wider than she'd ever seen him before. She tossed a grape at him. "Danny."

"What?" he asked, starting.

"What's up?" she asked him.

"Um…" he stammered.

"Danny, just tell me."

"I think _she _should tell you," he told her, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Tell me…what? Who?"

"Lillith…"

"Did you hear her thoughts too?"

"Un…fortunately…"

"Well, what did you hear?" She knew that he wanted to tell her now. But he just…wasn't going to do so easily. "Danny…"

"I think you should talk to her," he suggested.

"I think you should tell me what you heard her think before you lose something," she threatened with a wicked smile.

He cringed (both because of the threat and what he had to say) and then sighed. "She…hasn't been as good as you think…"

Sam blinked. "Come again?"

"Okay, I'm just going to blurt it out," he said. "Because--"

"Because otherwise you'll never get it out," she finished. "Yeah, I know."

"She think she's pregnant."

There was at least a five minute pause where Sam seriously had to take it in. "W—what?"

"I swear…maybe I didn't hear it right, because her thoughts were all jumbled and…" Danny broke off.

"Lillith…would never…not without…." Sam put her hands to her face. "This can't be happening." She stared at him. "You're certain you heard this."

"If I said no…"

"I know you'd be so lying to me," she said.

"I think you know me too well," he told her, still wincing.

"Come with me," she said angrily, walking past him fast towards the living room.

"Why?" he asked softly.

"Fine," she said with a grin that made him raise an eyebrow. "No witnesses is fine with me while I kill my daughter…" She walked out of the room loudly. "Lillith!"

Danny sighed. "I'm going to die…"

□□□□□□□□□□

"Lillith!" Sam shouted, finally entering the living room.

"Yeah mom?" Lillith asked, looking up from the couch where she and Chris were sitting.

"Hey Ms. M," Chris said, glancing past her. "Where's Danny?"

"Probably hiding by now," she blurted. "Chris, I need to talk to my daughter. I think you should go back to school."

He read her tone and stood up slowly, almost creeping away from her. "Okay…sure…I'll see you later Lil…"

"Maybe…" Sam growled.

"Bye," he said, glancing between them. He snuck away quietly and left the house, looking slightly scared.

"Mom, what's wrong?" she asked, confused.

"Did you sleep with him?" Sam retorted. Lillith almost automatically blushed, gazing downwards, not saying anything. Her mother didn't need an answer. "Lillith!"

"He didn't force it on me," she said fast. "I swear he didn't. We both agreed, I promise."

"That doesn't make it right! You're fourteen!" she exclaimed, disbelieving.

"I don't know why I did it, I just did…I've never felt like that before. I love Chris and…"

"When did this happen?" she asked, pressing her lips together.

"A week…maybe two ago," she replied softly, not meeting her gaze. "How do you…How did you find out?"

"It doesn't matter…" Sam told her. "Lillith…are you pregnant?"

"I…I don't know. I'm late…"

"You didn't use--"

"I told you it was really random and…I don't know why…But I knew how I felt and it just happened. I never expected this to happen…" A tear escaped from her eye. "Mom…what if I am pregnant?"

"I don't believe this…" she said, turning around.

"Mom, I'm sorry," she said. "You believe me don't you?"

"Why didn't you tell me about this before?" she retaliated.

"I didn't want you to act like this!" she yelled.

"Don't try and turn this around on me," Sam said, trying to keep her voice steady.

"I'm telling you the truth!"

"That doesn't change anything." She sighed. "Come on."

"What?" Lillith asked, standing up and wiping her eyes. "Where are we going?"

"We're going to see if you're pregnant or not," she said, running a hand through her hair.

"Mom…I'm sorry," she said again, stepping in front of her.

Sam stared into her eyes, so similar to her own. "I know…but…you shouldn't have to be." She sighed again and her tone turned gentler. "Come on."

* * *

Surprisingly, the next chapter actually is better. I think there's only 3 dramatic scenes in this whole story. One's not going to come until like chapter twenty five, so, you've got a long way to that one. The other is between Sam & Lillith, and the other is Danny's little mysterious reason for coming home. But it's going to get A LOT funnier. 

Please R&R! And please remember what I said about the 100 plus review thing. I'm going to try and update this one at least twice more and if I can get 100 by May, this story will have five new chapters that month!

Here's your sneak peek!

_Chapter Four: Goodnight Stories (Longer than these chapters have been)_

_"Where's mommy?" she asked._

_"She and your sister went for a drive," he replied. "They'll be back soon, don't worry."_

_"How many aliens did you meet?" she asked._

_He grinned. "Hmm…well, on which planet?"_

Lateraina Wolf


	4. Goodnight Stories

Hello! Thank you guys so much! You know, actually when I thought about how many reviews I'd get, I was thinking I'd have to put up at least three more. But it looks like with the last set I got, I just might make it with this chapter.

And now that it's May, this story was supposed to be updated last Friday, but fanfiction wasn't working and so I never got the chance. So we're going to "assume" that this one reached 100…because I was hoping it would anyway with the new chapter and add it onto the list anyway. I won't tell if you won't…

Thanks to my reviewers!

emma, phaser, Kyrani Firefalcon, Nobody-Important91, Shorty, Queen S of Randomness 016, Fantastic Bouncy Girl, DannysEvilTwin, riotrockergurl, N.sAnE sKiPpy, SilverstarsEbonyskies, Slayer of Souls, Uru Baen x3, mastercontoro, FentonGreenMenace, Hakkyou Kuusou, katiesparks, Unlikely-to-bear-it, giggleaid, Jezabel Maphton x2, Phantom2B, Phantom101, Divagurl277, Kairi7, Fey Phantom, Shonster Shadow, The White Rose, the sleep warrior, KatieKumquat, SetsuntaMew, Leppers, Just call me crazy, Fairie Sugar Pixie Stix 445, Raven of the Night676

LIfe SuCKs aNd ThEN yoU Die

chAptEr fOUr

_goodnight stories_

**Danny **chewed on his fingernail, gazing absentmindedly out the window. It had been two hours since he'd last seen Sam and he was starting to get worried.

Guilt had crept into his mind for certain and he felt even worse about starting up trouble…considering he'd only bee there for less than three hours. A small voice piped up in the back of his head, telling him that they would have eventually found out about it. The other voice told him that he just should have shut up and let Sam find out when Lillith told her herself.

Either way…things were not so good…

He wondered if him staying here was such a good idea anymore after what had happened. To be honest, he wanted to stay. It had been a fairly welcoming place for the few hours he'd been here until he'd screwed things up.

He hadn't seen Sam in what felt like forever, which was really true considering the last time he'd _seen _her had been five years ago around Easter. They'd been keeping in touch via email, but how awesome it had felt when he'd actually gotten to physically see her again.

Even in his head, he wondered how desperate it was of him for this to be the first place to come "home" to. It wasn't like he didn't want to go see his parents or Jazz or anyone else he knew, besides Tucker, but Tucker's had been the next choice…It was just…they would ask questions he couldn't particularly answer. Well, Jazz wouldn't of course, but…

And what made it even more difficult, was that he could pick up random thoughts from each of them. Even Chris and Leann. But it was the girls' voices he heard the most.

Raven's? Completely chaotic. He expected that really from a five year old, but she was certainly like her mother…

Lillith? Right now, all he'd heard was her fears of realizing she was pregnant. But he'd also felt the love she'd had for Chris.

Sam…Sam was worried about him. He could sense that she was so happy to see him, just like he was, but she was concerned for what he couldn't tell her. And he wanted to tell her…

He'd almost fallen asleep, his exhaustion nearly overpowering him, but then the phone rang, startling him both out of thought and his drowsiness. Looking up, his nose twitched, trying to decide whether or not to answer it or not.

Finally, he just let the answering machine pick up and listened to it, a smile forming on his face.

"Congratulations, you've reached the Smiths, please leave a message if you're not already freaked out!" There were giggles in the background, most likely from the two young girls.

Despite minding his own business, he ended up listening to the message that followed. "Yes, Ms. Smith, this is Nicholas Kaan from the karate center. I just wanted to let you know that the karate class your daughter is involved in will be having another session next Thursday, but of course the center will be closed with the upcoming Christmas holiday. So, if you have any questions, please feel to call me, thanks a lot."

He raised an eyebrow, wondering which one of Sam's daughters actually took karate lessons. They both seemed likely to do so.

There was a sudden noise in the living room, like a door slamming and then he heard a voice.

"Mom!"

□□□□□□□□□□

"How much do you hate me?" Lillith asked, wiping away a tear and staring out into the sunset. It had only been a good ten minutes since her fears had been confirmed.

Sam closed her eyes, putting the car into park and sitting back. "I don't hate you. I can't hate you. I'm just…"

"Disappointed?" she sobbed.

"Wondering what…happened…I thought…" She couldn't find the words to say and stopped, running a hand through her jet black hair.

"What am I going to do?" Lillith asked.

"What do you want to do?" she replied after a moment, looking over at her daughter.

"I'm fourteen…I can't be a mom. But…I don't want to…I don't want an abortion," she said. "I couldn't…"

"Not to be controlling, but that wouldn't have been an option," Sam told her.

"What was it like…when you had me?" she asked.

Sam almost laughed. "Terrifying…"

"Really?"

"Yeah…" she said after a moment. "After I found out I actually cried for days."

"You cried?" Lillith wondered.

"I was emotional and confused and scared to death and…all that mixed into one." She sighed. "And then, nine months later, I did it again."

"What was dad like?"

Sam gripped the steering wheel tightly, her knuckles white. "He didn't know for a while…In fact, the only person who knew for the longest time was--"

"Let me guess," she said, finally smiling. "Danny?"

"Yeah…" she whispered. She looked over at her daughter. "What?"

"You like him, don't you?"

She blinked several times. "Excuse me?"

"Mom—and I'm not trying to get off subject here, I'm just saying…It's kind of obvious you do. And I think he feels the same way," she told her.

"He doesn't," she insisted. "And…of course I like him. He's my best friend."

"I meant more than that. Mom, I can so tell that you like him. The way you look at him. And the way he looks at you…"

"He…He's my best friend."

"And you are so into--"

"Off topic," Sam intervened.

"Right," Lillith agreed. She sighed. "What am I going to tell Chris?"

"The truth," she replied.

"How do you tell a guy that the one time that you made one mistake, you make another one just as easily?" she asked.

"No idea…"

"What?"

"Nothing," Sam muttered, snapping back into reality. "Let's go home…" She put the car into drive again, easing west towards home.

"I'm sorry mom," Lillith whispered softly.

She wasn't sure what to say and for a few minutes, she didn't say anything. Finally, she'd about been ready to say something when Lillith's cell phone rang.

"Hello?" she asked, sniffling and trying to make her voice come out normal. "Yeah Dad? What? We're not home…Mom and I…we went out for a while." She cast a sideways glance over at her mother, but she didn't say anything. "What!"

"What is it?" Sam asked, alarmed at her tone.

"Dad thought we were home so he dropped Raven off. And now she's home alone and he's on his way to Minneapolis."

"Why is Raven home from school?"

"Why is Raven home, dad?" Lillith asked. She sighed at his muffled answer. "You've got to be kidding me."

"What?" she asked, warily.

"Raven's teacher called dad to come pick her up from school. But dad says that she's at home."

"Oh, she's probably fine," she said with a grin.

"What?"

"Just tell your dad that we're on our way and I'm going to kick his--"

"Mom says we'll get there soon," Lillith interrupted into the phone. "Okay, bye." She turned to her mom, her eyes wide. "What do you mean she'll be fine."

"Because…Danny's there."

Lillith burst into laughter. "He's gonna die…"

□□□□□□□□□□

"Mommy?" Raven called again.

Danny stood up, stumbling over towards the doorway splitting the living room from the kitchen and saw her standing there, near the front door.

"Hey…"

She looked at him, blinking several times. "You're not mommy."

"No…I'm Danny, remember?"

"The superhero," she said.

"Yes…" He almost laughed, feeling slightly awkward to be called that still. "Why are you home?"

"Boys are stupid," she grumbled.

"Okay…" He decided not to ask.

She jumped onto the couch. "Do you like pink?"

He had learned by now how to answer this question. "Nope. Black is the best color ever."

"Really?" she asked, sounding excited. "I like black too." She looked at him. "I don't have cooties."

"I never said you did," he challenged, sitting down beside her.

"Your hair is messy," she told him.

"I've been told that," he said, glancing up at the strands floating above his eyes.

"Can you fly?"

"What?" he asked.

"Mommy said you could fly in the big rocket."

"Yes, yes I did. Actually, I flew in six different rockets," he said, laughing.

"Can we make cookies?"

"What?" He stared at the very random questions.

"We were going to make cookies today at school but Brandon was being stupid and I didn't get to make any after I hit him." Danny snorted and she looked at him. "You sound like a pig." She giggled hysterically.

"Why did you hit Brandon?" he wondered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Cause he's stupid."

"Okay…"

"Can we make cookies?"  
"Um…"

"Please? I like the ones with the chocolate in them. With the little gummy bats on top."

Danny grinned. "Do you now?"

"Yep. But we were going to make chocolate chip cookies today. Do you know how to make chocolate chip cookies?"  
"Actually I do," he replied.

"Can we make some?"

"Sure…" he agreed. "But you…have to help me."

She was already on her feet. "Duh."

□□□□□□□□□□

"What's this?" Raven asked, fifteen minutes later, holding up a spoonful of white powder.

"That is flour," Danny replied.

"And what are these?" she asked, pointing to something similar.

"That's sugar." He figured she'd ask about everything else, so he stepped up to her game. "We've got baking powder, baking soda, oil, chocolate chips, vanilla, salt, eggs."

"Eggs? Eggs are baby chickens," she said, looking very hurt.

"And…we don't have to use those," he lied, putting his hands over them. He grinned mischievously and they suddenly disappeared underneath his hands.

Raven gasped. "You know magic tricks?"

"Yes, yes I do," he told her. "I'll show you some more later."

"Do we need this next?" she asked, holding the flour up close to his face.

"Yes, yes we do," he replied, backing up and taking it from her.

"Can I put it in?"

"Sure," he told her. "Just, try and get the bowl, okay?"

"Okay." She dumped it inside.

It managed to hit the bowl, but as soon as it hit, a cloud of floury dust floated around them suddenly.

Raven giggled, both at his facial expression and— "I got it on your face…" She laughed and he gave her a look, waving floury air away from him.

"Okay…how about if I get the rest?" he offered, blowing upwards.

"Okay!" She sat there a minute, watching him add more things and then mix it together. "Where's mommy?" she asked.

"She and your sister went for a drive," he replied. "They'll be back soon, don't worry."

"How many aliens did you meet?" she asked.

He grinned. "Hmm…well, on which planet?"

"There are different planets?"

"Uh huh. There's nine…technically," he said. "And each one looks different."

"What are their names?"

"Well, I've been to Mars," he said. "And we live on Earth."

"Lillith told me we lived on Amity Park," she said, looking disgruntled.

"We live _in _Amity Park. But we live _on _earth," he corrected.

"Aren't they the same thing?"

"…Never mind."

"What did the aliens say?" she asked. "Did you get their autographs?"

"No…no I didn't. But they said for me to tell you, "hi."

"They said hi to me!" She screamed, making Danny blink several times with her volume. "Did they really?"

"Of course," he said.

"Is it done yet?" she asked.

"Yes it is," he answered. "Now watch me…"

He took a spoonful and then put it into his hands, rolling it into a ball. She giggled, gasping and then did the same.

"And then, you put them in a row like this," he said, setting it onto the pan.

"Can we eat it?"

He laughed. "Not yet. Let's at least get this pan full."

"I like chocolate. Do you like chocolate?"

"I love chocolate," he told her.

"Me too. Do you like gummy bats?"

"Yep."

"You say yep too!"

"Yep." Danny grinned and then thought of something. "I love to say yep princess."

"I'm not a princess. Princesses wear pink."

"Not all the time," he pointed out.

"Yes they do."

"No, they don't…"

"Yes they do."

"Okay, but just because you're a princess doesn't mean you have wear pink."

"Yes it does."

"No…okay…" He shook his head and then gave up. "Okay, time to put them in the oven." He bent over and opened the door, waving away hot air and slid them in, closing it and checking his watch. "T-minus fifteen minutes and counting."

She giggled and then yawned. "I'm tired."

"Why don't you take a nap?" he suggested. "And then when you wake up, we can eat all the cookies?"

"Will you tell me a story?" she asked.

He didn't even have the heart to tell her no. "Sure…"

"Want to see my room?" she said excitedly.

"Sure," he replied.

"Mommy painted it especially for me," she said, jumping up and down. "Come on, come on, come on!" She grabbed his hand and started running towards the living room, towards the stairs. "It's black and purple and orange and blue and red!"

"Cool," he said, following her.

"Guess how many steps there are!" she said, rushing up them while she talked.

"Fourteen," he said.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"I guessed."

"Really? I was just thinking that."

He grinned crookedly. "I know…"

"Come on, come on, come on!" she insisted.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," he replied.

Finally, they walked past three doors in a narrow hallway and she led him into a multi colored, striped (mainly black) room with dark purple curtains.

"See!" she shouted, hopping into her bed. The comforter she landed on was full of planets and stars. "I want to go to the moon too."

"It's a cool place."

"What color were the aliens?" she asked.

"Green…some of them were pink though," he teased.

"Were they princesses?"

"Nope. They were robots."

"Tell me a story…please?"

"Right," he agreed. "Which one?"

"Do you know any stories about princesses?"

"I thought you didn't like any princesses," he retorted.

"Tell me one about a princess that doesn't wear pink."

"Hmm…" He thought for a moment, biting his lip, and then grinned. "I have the perfect story."

She laughed. "Yay!"

"A few years ago…there was a magical kingdom with a huge castle. The kingdom was under a spell where all time stopped. And the castle was ruled by two dragons who were brother and sister. And the brother was looking for a bride…"

"And then what happened?" she asked.

"Well, the dragon prince found a bride to get married to…but she was a lot more than he could handle…"

□□□□□□□□□□

"We're probably going to find him unconscious, on the ground with gummy bats all over his face," Lillith said, entering in the house after her mother.

"Hello?" Sam called. "Danny? Raven?"

"Where are they?" she asked. "No reply means he's really…unconscious…that or dead." Sam gave her a look. "Okay, not dead. But you still have the other option." She sniffed the air. "Do you smell something?"

"Yeah…smells like cookies," she agreed, walking towards the kitchen. "What are you guys--" To her surprise, it looked like someone had indeed been cooking, but there was no one in the room. "Danny?"

"Mom!" Lillith whispered loudly through the door. "Mom, come here, hurry!"

"What is it?" she asked, following the voice.

Lillith was hovering near the stairs, looking like she was listening. "I think he's telling her a story or something."

"What?" Sam asked, climbing up the stairs and walking towards Raven's room. She listened carefully and then smiled at the words that came to her ears.

_"And the black bride saved the day and…afterwards, she and the knight went to go have a double veggie burger for dinner."_

She could see shadowed feet through the edge of the door and stepped behind it quickly, watching as Danny exited out through the door and closed it behind him.

"Boo," she said.

As expected, he hadn't noticed her and jumped about a foot, sighing in relief when he saw it was only her. "Jeeze, Sam…when did you get home?"

"About five minutes ago," she replied. She glanced at the door. "I think you could be hired as a pro babysitter if you got her to take a nap."

"Hey, who doesn't like a story about a girl that takes on a shape shifting dragon and saves the whole kingdom?" he teased, grinning.

"You're clever Danny," she said, smiling. "Thanks…"

"Oh, I made cookies. Actually _we _made cookies."

"I noticed. Gonna clean up your mess?"

He laughed. "Course I am."

"Uh huh. Do so, and you're welcome in this house anytime you want," she told him honestly.

"Thanks Sam," he answered.

"Only for you."

And Lillith sneaked away down the stairs, a smile forming on her face.

□□□□□□□□□□

Sam found it nearly impossible to sleep that night, her head buzzing with constant, incoherent thoughts. The day had been a lot to handle—to soak in Danny's arrival and Lillith's sudden pregnancy, and she was restless.

Finally, she gave up on sleep and crept out of bed quietly wandering out of her room and down the hallway. She ran a hand through her hair and sighed, deciding to take a look at her sleeping daughters.

She turned to the door closest to her and silently slid down the handle to Raven's room. Her youngest was sleeping spread eagled across her bed, her black hair strewn wildly everywhere.

Sam closed the door again, grinning and walked over to the room next to it, which was already open. Lillith was lying on her side, one hand pressed to her stomach, sleeping almost as restless as she had been.

Frowning, she took a quiet breath and then made her way down the stairs, thinking about getting some sleeping pills to relax her since they never really worked properly.

She crept into the living room and jumped in shock, almost forgetting that Danny was there.

He was sound asleep on the couch. For a minute, she smiled to herself, finding herself missing him even more. They'd been such good friends…

Her eyes full of concern, she noticed something missing. Not that she minded, but she knew that Danny snored. She _knew _he did. But now he wasn't. He was really that tired…

She stared at him for the longest time, trying to figure out what he could have gone through up there, but she didn't want to seem so nosy. Either way…he was the greatest thing she'd seen in the longest time and she didn't want to threaten his stay here.

"Mom, what are you doing?" asked a voice.

She jumped again, startled, and turned around to see Lillith peering through the stair railings. "Shh…" she instructed. "Go back to sleep."

"I couldn't sleep. I heard you come in," she whispered. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I just don't want to wake him up," Sam told her, walking back over towards the stairs to her.

"No, not that. You had that look on your face. Like you were confused about something," she said.

"It's nothing."

"Is he dying?"

"What?" Sam almost laughed. "Of course not. Why?"

"It's just…I don't know. Mom…" She trailed off.

"What?"

"I don't have a problem with it. I think you deserve to be happy," she said.

"A problem with what?"

"With…you liking Danny. He's cute, he's sweet, he's funny…He's great. And I think you know that too."

Sam sighed. "Go back to bed."

Lillith grinned. "Sure thing…G'night mom."

* * *

\No, just so you know, Danny was really not awake during that scene, so he didn't hear that. Hee hee. This is getting better now. 

And it will get better—with the next chapter! Please R&R! Here's your sneak peek!

_Chapter Five: The Color Green_

_"And who are you?" he demanded._

_"Rich, this is Danny," Sam said, noticing something about her ex husband's tone. She knew what was wrong with him. "He's my best friend from high school."_

_"Weren't you on the Climax?" Rich asked, peering over at him, one eyebrow raised._

_"Yes, actually, I was," Danny replied, holding out his hand. _

_Rich shook it reluctantly. "And what would you be doing here?"_

Lateraina Wolf


	5. The Color Green

Hello! Thanks to my reviewers!

KHFREAK14, Matsutsu, FentonGreenMenace, Divagurl277, Pocket Dog, GoingGhost x3, Nobody-Important91, Jezabel Maphton, SciFiGirl13, XxFadedxMemoriesxX, Rayne 4 EVR, N.sAnE sKiPpY, DannysEvilTwin, at-a-glance, Fantastic Bouncy Girl, Slayer of Souls, The White Rose, Shorty, The Sleep Warrior, riotrockergurl, giggleaid, Galateagirl, HORSELUVER101, Hakkyou Kuusou, Queen S of Randomness 016, Annabelle Carter, KatieKumquat, Raven of the Night676, SilverstarsEbonyskies, Leppers

And for those of you that did ask, which I apologize to my reviewer that I did not answer, but no, Lillith is not Danny & Sam's daughter. But later in the story, they do get closer.

And for all you Butch Hartman and/or Fairly Odd Parents fans, I'm quite aware that after twenty or so years later (cause it's like 2024 in this story if you follow their ages) that this show will probably not still be on. However, I'm going to say it is because Butch Hartman is a genius as well all know and I think you might like the little comments I throw out there too.

lIFe sUCkS anD tHEn yOU DIe

chAptEr fIvE

_the color green_

**Raven **crawled as quietly as she could, on all fours, towards the couch, her black hair falling over her silky black nightgown, a wicked smile on her pale face. She leaned up finally, seeing him lying there, his eyes closed and carefully climbed on top of his stomach, sitting there and staring at him.

She just barely moved her hand towards the tip of his nose when his eyes flashed open suddenly and he grabbed her. "Boo!" he shouted. She screamed in shock and then laughed as he growled and tickled her.

"Shh," he said, suddenly remembering where he was and how early it was. "Your mom and sister might still be asleep."

"Can we watch cartoons?" she asked.

"Sure," he said, picking up the remote from the side table and sitting up. "Which cartoons do you watch?"

"Timmy Turner!" she shouted. "And Wanda and Cosmo and Vicky."

"Fairly Odd Parents," he said, pressing a button. "You got it."

"You watch Fairly Odd Parents?" she asked, her eyes wide.

"A few times. Not recently," he told her.

"Who's your favorite character?" she said, staring at the screen at the same time.

"Oh, Danny, don't get her started," grumbled a voice behind them.

"Hi mommy!" Raven exclaimed without even looking.

"Did we wake you up?" he asked, cringing and glancing back at her upside down.

"Cheeyah," she replied. "Why did I hear, _boo _exactly?"

"Danny tricked me. I thought he was asleep," she said. "I was going to scare him, but he scared me."

"I see," she said.

Raven hummed along with the tune of the opening theme song, her head bobbing every direction to it. Danny couldn't help but laugh and Sam groaned, rolling her eyes and then walking into the kitchen.

"Be right back," he told her, swishing her hair with his hands and then pulling away before she could lick his hand. He laughed and then followed Sam into the kitchen.

"Sleep well?" she asked, grinning and sitting down.

"Yeah," he replied honestly.

"It looks like it," she said.

"Huh?" He cocked his head to the side, confused and she laughed mischievously.

"You have some major bedhead," she told him, grinning.

His hand went almost automatically on top of his head, trying to flatten his black hair down and glared at her while doing so. She burst into laughter at his attempt and he sighed, giving up. "I did actually sleep pretty well."

"Better than up in space?" she wondered, raising an eyebrow.

He laughed. "Better than up in space. Thanks for letting me crash here."

"It's really no problem. You act like I'm doing you this huge favor," she said, smiling.

"You are," he said. "I don't have a place to say. I'm going to look around for an apartment or something for a while."

"Well, if you don't find a place," she said, laying her hand on his sincerely. "You're always welcome here."

"So you've said…" She leaned over and swished her hands through his hair fast, making it stand up even more and laughed.

Raven's laughter echoed around them from the front room and Danny glanced through the doorframe to see her mouthing the lines to the show.

"Does she…remember every single word to that show?"

"To that show?" Sam stared incredulously. "How 'bout to every episode?" He blinked several times, shaking his head. "She's practically in love with Timmy and that one guy Chip something."

"Chip Skylark," he said, chewing on his thumbnail.

"It's sad that you know that," she said, raising another eyebrow. "But yeah…she's an obsessive fangirl. You know, the ones that hate it when their hero gets beat up or picked on. One of those that would sit in front of the tv every time it came on no matter how many times they've watched it…She knows more about it than anyone I've ever met…probably more than the creator if they were compared…" She laughed. "She'd be one of those types to tackle the main character if he were real and she saw him in the mall."

"There are girls like that?" he asked.

"Duh…A lot of girls always fall in love with the super duper hot super hero whether they're complete idiots or goofballs…" She trailed off, realizing exactly what she was saying and laughed nervously.

"Right…" he said. "Girls like Jessica, Fey, and Nichole, and Danielle and Rachel and Devann…"

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"Just randomly saying names," he muttered, shrugging.

"Do you even know those girls?"

"Nope…just saying random names," he said, laughing. "There aren't really girls like that out there, are there?"  
"Yes," she insisted, laughing. "It's scary sometimes."

He leaned his head back, thinking. "If I were a cartoon superhero…Would I have obsessive fangirls…hmm…"

"Danny…Not to give you this bighead about you oddly living in another reality where you're a cartoon…But you would be dead or kidnapped or left to die, within seconds," she told him.

"Are you saying I'm cute?"

"No," she lied. "I'm saying…" She sighed, thinking. "I'm saying that you have to worry about the hero's girl."

"Come again?"

"Every superhero, and I mean _every _superhero has to have a girl. Whether she's the damsel in distress or some random romantic partner like Lois Lane to Clark Kent… The hero's always got a girl. And not only would you have to face every single fangirl who's in love with you, but you've also got to make sure your girl doesn't get jealous. And if they don't kill you, she would for you even thinking about looking at them. You would need to run for your life either way."

"I'm sure," he said, shaking his head.

"Anyway…yeah, she's a bit…into the show, you could say," Sam summed up. "But hey, she's got a hobby, right?"

"Well, I know what to get her for Christmas…or do you celebrate Hannukah?" he asked.

"Both actually…We kind of mix it up. We light the Menorah and play games," she replied, yawning. "But we have a Christmas tree and only open presents on the day of, so."

"Sounds fun," he said. "What would you like for Christmas?"

She avoided the question easily. "What are you going to do for it anyway? Surely not go home and listen to your parents bicker…"

He laughed. "As much as I would love that," he said sarcastically. "I was probably going to hang out with my parents, yeah. See Jazz too."

"How is Jazz, anyway?" she asked. "Haven't heard from your family in a long time."

"They're good," he said. "Jazz has got a boyfriend…"

Sam laughed. "Danny, she's thirty five. I think she's not going to need you playing Mr. Overprotective."

"Yeah, I know," he sighed.

_Gotta love memories. Especially Johnny 13's motorcycle, _she thought, laughing at the image that replayed in her head.

"Johnny 13 was a prick," Danny said.

She cleared her throat. "You really got to watch that."

"What?" he asked, looking at her.

"I didn't say anything."

"Just now?" He winced, realizing her answer before she'd said anything.

"Nope."

"I don't know…" he said. "I've got all these new powers."

"Whoa, whoa, wait. New _powers.._? As in, plural?" The times had changed…

"Yeah…"

"What other ones besides telepathy?" she asked.

"What's telepathy?" a voice said randomly.

Both of them jumped in unison and looked up to see Lillith walk into the room, looking confused.

Sam stared, hoping that she hadn't heard much of the conversation. "How long have you been standing there?"

"I heard something about some guy named Johnny 13 and then I was watching Raven's tv show and then I heard something about telepathy," she replied gloomily, sitting down carefully onto the chair next to Sam. "Isn't that like the ability to read minds or something?"

"Different kind," she said fast. "Do you feel okay?"

"I feel horrible," she replied, bending over. "Not to mention that eventually I have to tell Chris…This is going to ruin…everything."

"Not necessarily," Sam said. "It just complicates things…a lot. But you know what could have prevented it."

"I know," she said. "I feel guilty enough about that…As if we need more problems in our lives."

"What problems did we have before?" Sam wondered, her eyes narrowing.

The door opened in perfect irony and both Rich and Leann walked into the kitchen much to Sam's dismay.

"Rich, I swear you were here less when we were married," she said, glaring at him.

"I had to talk to you--" He stopped, finally spotting Danny sitting there and his facial expression instantly changed.

"What do you want Rich?" Sam asked. To her surprise, he didn't even answer, his gaze fixed on Danny as he stepped closer to them.

"And who are you?" he demanded.

"Rich, this is Danny," Sam said, noticing something about her ex husband's tone. She knew what was wrong with him. "He's my best friend from high school."

"Weren't you on the _Climax_?" Rich asked, peering over at him, one eyebrow raised.

"Yes, actually, I was," Danny replied, holding out his hand.

Rich shook it reluctantly. "And what would you be doing here?"

_Heck, he's drop dead gorgeous, who cares what he's doing in this house…_

Lillith's thought crossed his mind and Danny instantly felt himself blush. Rich seemed to take his embarrassment as something else.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"He's staying for a while, why is it any of your business?" Sam asked.

"Are you sure we haven't met before?" Leann asked. "I have this friend named--"

"I'm only going to ask one more time before I get really angry," she warned, standing up. "What are you doing here?"

"Sam, may I talk you a moment? In private?"

Rich walked into the hallway and Sam, making a face, followed him hesitantly and they both stepped into another room.

"Who is he again?"

"He's my best friend from high school," she said slowly so that he might actually get it. "Why?"

"Is he your boyfriend?"

Sam almost answered and then smiled coyly. "If he were, would that be a problem? Cause I thought we were divorced."

"We were, I mean we are," he stammered nervously. "I just don't like him."

"Really now? Cause I don't care," she said, starting to get really angry. Before she'd been messing around. Now— "I think you should leave."

"That's not what I was going to say, I'm sorry," he said. For a moment, Sam thought he was almost going to apologize for what he'd said about Danny, but then he continued with something else. "What I originally came here for was to talk to you about Lillith."

"What about her?" she asked, folding her arms across her chest.

"She's pregnant," he said.

"Wow…I've only known that for about a day now. Nice to know that you're with us," she said, layering on the sarcasm.

"Sam, this is serious. If you already know, what are we going to do about it?"

"We are _not _getting rid of the baby if that's what you mean," she said definitely.

"Well, no, that's not what I meant. But…what about other things?"  
"I'll take care of it like I pretty much have the whole family this entire time," she said, louder than necessary. "Look…Lillith will get the hang of it soon."

"And her punishment?"

"What?"

"Oh, come on, Sam. We can't let her continue to stay with Chris."

"I'm not going to pull them apart," she said in disbelief. "They made one mistake. Now they're both parents and they need each other more than ever."

"That's not what I meant. I meant…they can't sleep together anymore," he insisted.

"I can handle that as well and I think you know your daughter better than that after this. At least, I would have hoped you would."

"I would have hoped that she not slept with him at all," he said. "And they did it in your own house."

"What!" Sam exclaimed. "I doubt that."

"Oh, really? Leann swore up and down she's never left the house within the last two weeks," he said.

"That's because she wouldn't be able to find her way home and the police would need to escort her," she said.

"Don't make this a joke, Sam."

"Does it look like I'm laughing, Rich?" she said. "Chris and Lillith…whether they're ready or not now, they will be soon and I will be there, helping them. I think this little mistake…is punishment enough."

"I don't believe you sometimes," Rich grumbled, walking past her suddenly and back towards the kitchen.

Sam followed, her anger steadily building and rising together. He suddenly swerved before the kitchen door as laughter reached his ears.

"Whatever Derik--"

"Danny," she corrected, annoyed.

"Whatever _Danny _is here for, I hope he leaves soon for his own safety," he muttered.

"I'd like to see you try," she said honestly, raising an eyebrow. "And just so you know…He's staying here for a while. Maybe forever."

"I thought he was just your _friend,_" Rich challenged. "One argument and you really turn ugly sometimes, don't you?"

"Get of my house," she said quietly.

"Fine," he hissed. He walked into the kitchen where Sam quickly walked next.

"So you like kittens huh?" Danny was asking.

"Leann, come on," Rich insisted, grabbing on his new soon-to-be-wife and leading her out the door. "Lillith, Raven, I'll see you guys later."

"Bye!" Leann called, allowing herself to be steered away. The door slammed behind them and Lillith laughed.

"I think bye is the most intelligent thing she's said this morning," she joked, making Danny cackle in laughter. In the living room, Raven started singing a different theme song to a different show. "Can you believe she got attacked by her own cat?"

"Surprisingly…" He trailed off, finally noticing Sam's face. Lillith followed his concerned gaze and gasped.

"Mom, what's wrong?" she asked.

"It's nothing, I'm fine," she said, trying to smile.

"Oh…" Lillith groaned suddenly, holding a hand to her head. "I don't feel well…" She jumped up from the chair and rushed away quickly.

"Sam, what's wrong?" Danny asked, walking over to her.

"I can't believe that a part of me loved him," she said, feeling her eyes burn. "He drives me up the wall and I must have been pretty desperate to have married him and he…"

He wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug, rubbing her shoulder with one hand. "Hey…it's okay…"

"I just…don't see why every day has to be a struggle to get through to him that…he doesn't always get what he wants. I don't think he knows that yet…and ugh…" She blinked several times, refusing to cry just in case Lillith or Raven walked back into the room.

"It'll be okay," he told her.

"He doesn't even like you," she sighed.

"I get that a lot," he teased. "I've got about a few good ghosts that would like to see me in the ground."

"I'm sorry for the way he acted," she said sincerely, leaning her head up against his chest behind her.

"Why should you be sorry?" He hugged her gently. "It'll be fine."

"Danny…" she whispered.

"Yeah?" he asked.

"Stay here," she said. "It's an offer. When I met you're welcome here, I guess it meant I want you here for a while. Cause I really would like it if you stayed."

"I don't want to--"

"You won't do anything," she said, already guessing what he'd about said. "I just want you to stay."

"Okay," he said after a few seconds. "I'll stay."

* * *

Bet that makes Rich happy. Oh, and that was probably like one of four dramatic scenes throughout this whole story. Cause the next chapter? A lot happier and funnier! 

The next chapter will be about…a week and a half after this one. In fact, Christmas time! It only gets better…

_Chapter Six: Old Feelings_

_"I love watching them," Sam said, watching as the three kids sang, almost drunkenly along with the tv. "I've watched them all these years…"_

_"Are you having one of those mom moments, Sam?" Danny teased, leaning up against the doorframe and sighing._

_"Oh, please," she groaned, shoving him playfully. She raised her glass. "To parents."_

_He raised his own. "To friends." _

_Just friends? Sam couldn't help but think, almost forgetting and quickly shoving the thought away so that he wouldn't hear her. She clinked her glass with his and started talking so that maybe it wouldn't be heard._

_"So what do you think Danny? Good Christmas?"_

"The best," he said. 

_"Hey guys!" Lillith shouted suddenly, turned around with a smile on her face. _

_"What?" she replied, taking a drink of her champagne._

_"Look up, I dare you." Chris suddenly snorted and Sam took the dare and looked up—only to see mistletoe hanging from the door frame._

Lateraina Wolf


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